Parabéns!

Era uma manhã de sexta-feira em que as águas desciam torrencialmente sobre a cidade, fechando o verão.

Época em que os celulares ainda não tinham invadido o País, e em que as pessoas desfilavam nas ruas com brincos, pulseiras e relógios de ouro.

O sujeito entrou no ônibus, acompanhado de um rapazola, carregando uma mochila fina e comprida, donde se podia perceber um volume grosso e comprido em seu interior. Afora um olhar curioso que estendia volta e meia a todos os passageiros, não me pareceu que o indivíduo oferecesse algum perigo.

A viagem continuou até que minguaram os passageiros, estando, agora, todos assentados. E foi nesse intervalo de tempo, e próximo ao ponto que eu haveria de descer, que o indivíduo, repentinamente, ergueu-se da cadeira, postou-se de frente para todos, abriu a mochila, retirou uma grande e grossa vela e dois revólveres, e começou um bailado grotesco, mirando para o motorista e ao mesmo tempo para todos os passageiros, ordenando que um por um colocasse dentro da sua mochila: relógios, carteiras, pulseiras e toda espécie de valor que visualizava nos presentes – “oferecida” a cada passageiro pelo seu comparsa, como se fosse sacolinha de igreja na hora do ofertório. Os mais resistentes eram surpreendidos pelo sujeito da sacola que, rapidamente, arrancava-lhes do pescoço, orelhas e braços tudo que lhe fosse negado.
Eu, como não portava nada no corpo, por ser macaco velho, fui obrigado a tirar a minha camisa, porque o sujeito que estava na frente achou que ela serviria para dar, ao seu corpo, ares de festa, vestindo-a imediatamente, sob a proteção do comparsa que se apoderou das armas.
Isso tudo se passou em poucos minutos, com o ônibus andando, já que a primeira ordem dada ao motorista era de que seguisse viagem, em velocidade média, e não parasse para ninguém.
E não é que depois de a mochila já estar recheada, o sujeito da frente pisca para o “ajudante” que, numa fração de segundos, retira um isqueiro, ergue a grossa vela e a acende, enquanto o outro berra para todos:

– O negócio é o seguinte, cambada: Hoje é o meu aniversário e prometi a mim mesmo que muita gente boa vai cantá um “parabéns pra você” pra mim. Nunca tive isso na vida, de maneira que quero todo mundo bateno palma e cantano alto, senão, vou desejá “muitos anos de morte” pra neguinho desobediente.”
E, grotescamente, me vi obrigado a cantar parabéns para um sujeito que eu desejava que estivesse no “outro mundo”.
Antes de chegarmos ao “muitos anos de vida”, o motorista deu uma forte brecada, derrubando o sujeito sobre a arma que disparou e o “apagou” juntamente com a chama da grande vela.
Confesso que não me incomodei ao ver a minha camisa novinha com um buraco no meio.
Foi aquele alvoroço: o rapazola desceu apavorado, pois a multidão partiu em seu encalço.
Que Deus tenha compaixão de mim, porque, ao ver o sujeito pronto para o velório, com vela e tudo, arrematei:
– Vai comemorar a morte no inferno, seu infeliz!

Sem camisa, indo em direção ao trabalho, eu não queria acreditar que aquele dia fosse 1º de abril!

                                                           

8.460 thoughts on “Parabéns!

  1. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the
    video to make your point. You clearly know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you
    could be giving us something informative to read?

  2. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I
    am impressed! Extremely helpful information particularly the remaining part :) I deal with such info a lot.
    I was seeking this particular information for a very
    long time. Thanks and best of luck.

  3. We stumbled over here coming from a different web
    address and thought I might as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i’m following you.

    Look forward to looking over your web page repeatedly.

  4. Really impressed with the content here—everything from HD videos to amateur
    uploads feels fresh and authentic. I especially love the variety of categories
    like MILF, POV, and hardcore. It’s hard to find an adult site that updates
    so regularly and still keeps everything high-quality.
    Definitely one of the best porn sites I’ve come across lately.
    Keep it up!”

  5. I think what you said made a ton of sense. But, think
    about this, what if you were to create a killer headline?

    I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but suppose you added something that
    makes people want more? I mean Parabéns! | Conversa Literária – por Fátima
    Soares is a little boring. You ought to look at Yahoo’s
    front page and note how they write news headlines to get people interested.
    You might try adding a video or a related pic or two
    to get readers excited about what you’ve got to
    say. Just my opinion, it could bring your posts a little bit more interesting.

  6. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your blog. You have some really great posts and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested. Regards!

  7. Hi, i feel that i noticed you visited my website thus i got here to “go back the want”.I am trying to to find issues to enhance my web site!I guess its good enough to use a few of your concepts!!

  8. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this info So i’m happy to convey that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to don’t forget this website and give it a glance regularly.

  9. An attention-grabbing dialogue is price comment. I feel that you should write more on this subject, it may not be a taboo topic but usually people are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  10. I love significantly your own post! I look at all post is great. I discovered your personal content using bing search. Discover my webpage is a great one as you.I work to create several content this post. Once more you can thank you and keep it create! Enjoy!

  11. Thank you for some other wonderful post. Where else may anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect manner of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am at the search for such information.

  12. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100 positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it

  13. Great goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too great. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a wonderful web site.|

  14. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I’m quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!|

  15. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be at the web the simplest thing to keep in mind of. I say to you, I definitely get irked whilst people think about worries that they plainly do not recognise about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and outlined out the whole thing with no need side effect , other folks could take a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thanks

  16. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado.

Website