Parabéns!

Era uma manhã de sexta-feira em que as águas desciam torrencialmente sobre a cidade, fechando o verão.

Época em que os celulares ainda não tinham invadido o País, e em que as pessoas desfilavam nas ruas com brincos, pulseiras e relógios de ouro.

O sujeito entrou no ônibus, acompanhado de um rapazola, carregando uma mochila fina e comprida, donde se podia perceber um volume grosso e comprido em seu interior. Afora um olhar curioso que estendia volta e meia a todos os passageiros, não me pareceu que o indivíduo oferecesse algum perigo.

A viagem continuou até que minguaram os passageiros, estando, agora, todos assentados. E foi nesse intervalo de tempo, e próximo ao ponto que eu haveria de descer, que o indivíduo, repentinamente, ergueu-se da cadeira, postou-se de frente para todos, abriu a mochila, retirou uma grande e grossa vela e dois revólveres, e começou um bailado grotesco, mirando para o motorista e ao mesmo tempo para todos os passageiros, ordenando que um por um colocasse dentro da sua mochila: relógios, carteiras, pulseiras e toda espécie de valor que visualizava nos presentes – “oferecida” a cada passageiro pelo seu comparsa, como se fosse sacolinha de igreja na hora do ofertório. Os mais resistentes eram surpreendidos pelo sujeito da sacola que, rapidamente, arrancava-lhes do pescoço, orelhas e braços tudo que lhe fosse negado.
Eu, como não portava nada no corpo, por ser macaco velho, fui obrigado a tirar a minha camisa, porque o sujeito que estava na frente achou que ela serviria para dar, ao seu corpo, ares de festa, vestindo-a imediatamente, sob a proteção do comparsa que se apoderou das armas.
Isso tudo se passou em poucos minutos, com o ônibus andando, já que a primeira ordem dada ao motorista era de que seguisse viagem, em velocidade média, e não parasse para ninguém.
E não é que depois de a mochila já estar recheada, o sujeito da frente pisca para o “ajudante” que, numa fração de segundos, retira um isqueiro, ergue a grossa vela e a acende, enquanto o outro berra para todos:

– O negócio é o seguinte, cambada: Hoje é o meu aniversário e prometi a mim mesmo que muita gente boa vai cantá um “parabéns pra você” pra mim. Nunca tive isso na vida, de maneira que quero todo mundo bateno palma e cantano alto, senão, vou desejá “muitos anos de morte” pra neguinho desobediente.”
E, grotescamente, me vi obrigado a cantar parabéns para um sujeito que eu desejava que estivesse no “outro mundo”.
Antes de chegarmos ao “muitos anos de vida”, o motorista deu uma forte brecada, derrubando o sujeito sobre a arma que disparou e o “apagou” juntamente com a chama da grande vela.
Confesso que não me incomodei ao ver a minha camisa novinha com um buraco no meio.
Foi aquele alvoroço: o rapazola desceu apavorado, pois a multidão partiu em seu encalço.
Que Deus tenha compaixão de mim, porque, ao ver o sujeito pronto para o velório, com vela e tudo, arrematei:
– Vai comemorar a morte no inferno, seu infeliz!

Sem camisa, indo em direção ao trabalho, eu não queria acreditar que aquele dia fosse 1º de abril!

                                                           

6.812 thoughts on “Parabéns!

  1. Wonderful work! This is the kind of information that are meant to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on the seek engines for now not positioning this post higher! Come on over and seek advice from my website . Thank you =)|

  2. A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I think
    that you ought to write more on this subject matter, it
    might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t talk
    about these topics. To the next! Kind regards!!

  3. I’ll right away seize your rss as I can’t find your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me recognise in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  4. Deneme bonusu veren siteler 2025 listesi, ücretsiz bonus almak isteyenler için harika bir kaynak! Yeni bahis siteleri ve güncellenmiş platformlar sayesinde risksiz kazanç elde edebilirsiniz. En iyi deneme bonusu veren bahis sitelerini keşfetmek için listeyi inceleyin!

  5. Howdy I am so grateful I found your blog page, I really found you by mistake,
    while I was researching on Askjeeve for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and
    also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please
    do keep up the superb job.

  6. you’re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The site loading pace is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a great process on this topic!|

  7. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this
    post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  8. When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!|

  9. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100 certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks|

  10. After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a means you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!|

  11. Discover CowSwap, the trusted decentralized exchange platform for seamless crypto trades in 2025. With low fees, high security, and fast transactions, CowSwap is a go-to solution for DeFi users worldwide

  12. Sailboats offer a completely different experience, relying on wind power rather than engines. Sailing requires skill and patience, but it provides a peaceful and rewarding way to explore the water. Some people sail for leisure, while others take long voyages across oceans. Sailboats range from small, single-person dinghies to massive yachts equipped with advanced navigation systems. Learning how to handle sails, read the wind, and navigate properly is essential for safe sailing. Many sailing enthusiasts say there’s nothing quite like the feeling of harnessing the wind to glide across the water.

  13. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually know what you’re talking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my web site =). We could have a link exchange agreement between us!

  14. My wife and i felt really happy that Edward managed to do his analysis through the precious recommendations he was given when using the weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to be giving freely steps people have been making money from. And we take into account we need the writer to give thanks to because of that. All the explanations you’ve made, the easy blog menu, the friendships you make it easier to promote – it’s all excellent, and it’s really facilitating our son in addition to us reckon that the concept is excellent, and that is exceedingly fundamental. Many thanks for everything!

  15. Howdy would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  16. Good day very nice web site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find a lot of helpful information right here in the publish, we need develop extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  17. This design is spectacular! You most certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  18. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I do think that you ought to write more on this issue, it may not be a taboo subject but typically
    people do not speak about these issues. To the next!
    Many thanks!!

  19. I blog quite often and I truly thank you for your information. This article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new details about once per week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well.|

  20. Hi there outstanding blog! Doees runningg a blog similar to
    thyis take a lzrge amount off work? I have abssolutely noo understanding
    of codjng but I wwas hoping to syart myy own boog soon. Anyway, should youu have any recdommendations oor tips foor neww blog
    owneds please share. I knopw this is offf topic neverthelsss
    I simply wanted tto ask. Kudos!

  21. The iconic rapper Kanye West left an indelible mark on hip-hop
    with a masterpiece album, “Graduation”, dropping in September 2007.
    This album defined a significant shift in his career, blending hip-hop beats with modern production elements.

    Graduation contained numerous unforgettable hits, including “Stronger”, which
    became an anthem of its time. Other standout
    tracks including “Good Life” featuring T-Pain and
    “Homecoming” added to its appeal.

    The creative design of this project was equally iconic.
    The famed Takashi Murakami was brought in to design the album’s aesthetic,
    and his influence is clearly evident. The Graduation poster capture this
    essence, displaying bright, eye-catching tones, fantastical
    designs, and Kanye’s bear mascot ascending into the sky.

    Avid enthusiasts of Kanye West are drawn to limited-edition prints celebrating
    the album’s influence. Certain designs include unique aspects, such as holographic finishes or autographed editions.

    These collectibles not only serve as decor, but also are cherished
    for their rarity.

    The poster’s imagery reflects themes of growth, paralleling Kanye’s rise from a promising artist to a music mogul.
    The bear mascot is a metaphor for his evolution, soaring
    toward success and embracing creativity.

    Today, the Graduation poster remains a iconic reminder of Kanye West’s ability to combine music and art.
    Dedicated fan groups are full of images of the collectible, with fans showing off
    their collections. On social hubs such as Twitter, hashtags like ##MurakamiKanye gain traction.

    For those looking to acquire of Graduation’s artistic
    side, official designs can still be found via select
    online retailers. However, fake copies are not uncommon, so it’s advised to research thoroughly
    before making a purchase.

    The legacy of Graduation still captivates fans, making its visuals a cultural milestone.

  22. Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly.

    I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve
    tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

  23. Most of what you assert is astonishingly appropriate and that makes me wonder why I hadn’t looked at this in this light previously. Your article really did switch the light on for me as far as this particular subject matter goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually just one position I am not really too comfy with and whilst I attempt to reconcile that with the main theme of the point, permit me see what all the rest of the visitors have to point out.Very well done.

  24. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado.

Website