Qualquer um que olha para mim, à toa, mais do que um minuto, já penso que é ladrão. E, então, redobro os meus cuidados, principalmente, quando estou no meu Celta branco, comprado com muito suor e tantas restrições.
Naquele final de tarde tumultuado de sexta-feira, estacionei em frente à padaria, a fim de que a minha esposa comprasse o leite e o pão para o lanche da tarde.
Ela desceu e entrou na padaria, enquanto eu a aguardava dentro do carro.
Não se passaram cinco minutos e dois homens entraram em meu carro. Um sentou-se ao meu lado, enquanto o outro se acomodava no banco de trás.
O da frente foi seco: “toca para a Rua do Ouro que eu vou te falando aonde nós iremos.”
Apavorado e já sentindo um tremor nas pernas, arranquei o carro com os pensamentos já me atropelando: “É agora que esses caras vão me levar pra favela e dar um jeito em mim! Sofia, coitada! Vai ficar maluca quando sair da padaria e não vir o carro… Será que ela vai pensar que a deixei ali para voltar a pé, ou alguém lhe contará que viu dois homens entrando no meu carro?…”
E enquanto eu seguia apavorado pensando no desfecho que teria esse “sequestro”, os homens iam ordenando quais as ruas eu deveria seguir.
Eu tentava me manter calmo, o máximo possível, pois, já fui alertado que, em caso de assaltos ou sequestros, devemos manter a tranquilidade para não apavorar o assaltante, que pode ter uma reação muito agressiva, caso perceba o nosso nervosismo.
Quando, finalmente, chegamos ao destino deles, o da frente falou:
_ Pode parar aí mesmo!
E, para a minha surpresa, emendou:
_ Quanto é?
Ao que eu respondi:
_ Como?
E ele:
_ Quanto deu a corrida, moço?
_ Que negócio é esse, gente? Eu achando que estava sofrendo um sequestro, para ser assaltado e sei lá mais o quê e vocês me perguntam quanto deu a corrida?
_ Uai, mas o seu carro não é táxi, não? Afinal é branco, e o senhor estava parado no ponto de táxi…
Imediatamente o meu nervosismo deu lugar a uma crise de riso e eu gargalhava na maior alegria ao sentir que estava diante de “gente boa” que, afinal, nem chegaram a me dominar com arma nenhuma, enquanto o outro rapaz arrematava:
_ Olha, vamos fazer o seguinte: geralmente uma corrida da padaria até aqui dá em torno de R$ 20,00.
Abriu a carteira e já ia me entregando os R$ 20,00, quando eu lhes disse:
_ De jeito nenhum que eu vou cobrar de vocês.
E fui arrancando rapidamente o carro enquanto lhes dizia:
_ Deixe-me voar para a padaria porque, a essa altura, a minha mulher é quem vai me esfolar pela demora!
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