Piloto Automático

Não sou fissurada em carros. Dirijo há trinta anos devido aos sete filhos que tenho. Pela necessidade de levá-los à escola, médicos e outros. Desconheço marcas, pois sou do tempo em que fusca era Volkswagen, e Uno, Spázio, para mim, são Fiats, como os denomino.

Outras marcas defino pela cor e dono. Assim, o carro preto do João, o carro cinza da Maria…

Temos na garagem dois carros: o carro preto do meu marido (Fiesta) e um Fiat (Uno) vinho que dirijo durante a semana e finais de semana quando ele está parado atrás do carro preto. Se for domingo e ele estiver bloqueado, dirijo o outro.

Hoje é domingo e todos estão dormindo. Levanto sonolenta às 6h30 e preparo o café da manhã enquanto vou arrumando a mesa. Depois, acordo a minha filha. Devo levá-la ao cursinho que começa às 7h30. Na volta, passarei na padaria, que é no caminho, e trarei o pão.

Desço para a garagem e retiro o carro. Tudo automaticamente, porque começo a despertar com o sol forte lá fora.

As ruas estão semidesertas e o trajeto é rápido.

Na volta, paro na rua ao lado da padaria, atrás do único carro preto estacionado.

Em menos de cinco minutos, deixo a padaria e, antes de abrir a bolsa para pegar a chave do carro, desperto completamente ao identificar apenas um carro lá estacionado.

Coloco as mãos na cabeça e afirmo para mim: roubaram o carro!

Começo a olhar para todos os lados, lembro-me de que deixei o celular em casa, penso em questionar se viram alguém arrombando o carro, ando de um lado para o outro, e, por fim, resolvo subir os três quarteirões a pé até minha casa.

No caminho, vou constatando a agilidade e o silêncio de um ladrão que consegue nos burlar em alguns minutos…

Entro em casa com os miolos estourando pelo sol e de tanto pensar.

Meu marido acorda e eu lhe comunico o roubo. Ele vai até a garagem para pegar o outro carro e tentar alguma informação com o seu amigo, dono da padaria.

Ao chegar à garagem, me pergunta gritando: qual carro foi roubado?

E eu, sem pestanejar, lhe respondo:

– O Fiat, uai, o que sempre saio.

Meu marido, silencioso, sobe e me mostra a chave do carro estacionado: o Fiat vinho.

Abro a bolsa e retiro a outra chave: é a do carro preto, o Fiesta, que se encontra até agora parado ao lado da padaria.

 

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