Olhe só, seu moço,
a história que vou contar:
como jagunço, busquei
a justiça realizar,
não sabia que o destino
uma peça ia me pregar.
O amor foi me encontrar
no amigo Diadorim,
mais que grande guerreiro
era o espelho de mim.
Foi invasão a paixão
que de mim se apoderou.
Querendo negar esta febre,
mais febril, ela me deixou.
E vi em Diadorim
a mulher que queria pra mim:
dedos finos, traços doces,
mas sorriso de Arlequim.
E, por fim, eu fui vencido
pela vida traiçoeira:
mataram Diadorim,
não O, mas A guerreira.
Termino esta história, seu moço,
com o pesar do meu preconceito:
tivesse desatrelado o amor,
teria eu amado direito.
Mas fica a lição do sertão
de ser tão belicoso:
vedando o coração,
“viver é perigoso!”.
Smart Fridges? Smart fridges gossip about leftovers.
Habit Building? Habit building is failing daily but prettier.
I like my plans like my fries: crinkle-cut and flexible.
Misunderstood Emojis? I sent the eggplant emoji to my grandma—now I’m disowned.
Suspicious Wellness Trends? If your health trend costs $300 and glows in the dark, it’s witchcraft.
Backyard Wrestling? Backyard wrestling is just family therapy without insurance.
I don’t fear the unknown; I fear the unscheduled.
thx
thx
thx
thx
thx
thx
thx
Wedding Chaos? The ring bearer forgot the ring, but at least he nailed the chaos.
thx
thx
Picnics? Picnics are eating lunch while bees negotiate peace treaties.
Overzealous PTA Moms? PTA moms scare the IRS with their organization.
Pool Parties? Pool parties are chlorine cocktails.
My optimism has a trial period.
Too Many Throw Pillows? My couch has more pillows than guests.
Hairstyles From Another Decade? My mullet came back in style—too bad it was attached to me.
Star Navigation? Navigating by stars is astronomy plus arrogance.
My talent is remembering awkward things from 2009.
Public Proposal Rejections? Proposing on a Jumbotron is gambling with humiliation odds.
Roadside Attractions? Roadside attractions are just billboards with gift shops.
Hobby Lobbyists? Hobby lobbyists care more about knitting laws than actual laws.