Laboratório Cont’minado

 Especialistas em vaso sanitário – desculpem-me, esqueci de que a “melhor” palavra é privada – farão experiências com torneiras. O principal objetivo será abri-las, dando maior vazão à água, embora, ao final do experimento, o resultado seja uma invasão do esgoto (desculpem-me novamente. Retifico: de merda), levando alguns inexperientes participantes a fechá-las em definitivo, e, outros, a aderir à conclusão de que a merda seja necessária.
 
 Embora o espaço do laboratório fosse amplo, e uma pseudodescontração parecesse reinar nesse ambiente, a vez e a voz cabiam apenas aos especialistas, repito: em vaso sanitário, ainda que o objetivo fosse abrir torneiras…
 
 Cientes de que o oxigênio e o gás carbônico sejam necessários à perpetuação da espécie, os aspirantes a especialistas são, paulatinamente, conduzidos ao curral, sutilmente encurralados, reduzindo-se a gado: um atrás do outro, em obediência, e priorizando o gás carbônico…
 
 Por fim, não se veem mais como aspirantes: os que, após o experimento, se julgaram “incapacitados”, desistiram da especialização.
 
 Já os que se julgaram capacitados concluíram ser o vaso sanitário, isto é, a privada, mais importante que as torneiras, afinal, a “contaminação” tem maior alcance e, por isso, talvez seja mais importante se especializar em merda do que em torneiras para expulsá-la…

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