Às vezes, questiono-me por que escolhi o Direito como profissão. Seria para enfatizar o que é certo? Mas o que é o certo? Para fazer justiça? Mas o que é, realmente, justo?
Perco-me nas respostas e sigo, todos os dias, para a universidade e, depois, para o estágio que faço com adolescentes infratores. Lá, esses conceitos me desconsertam, desestruturam toda a estrutura pragmática armada para me convencer, para, talvez, me endurecer…
Charles é um jovem alegre, carismático, de bem com a vida, apesar de a vida ter virado a cara para ele desde cedo. Está com 15 anos, e recolhido por tentativa de homicídio. As palavras que usa em sua defesa têm peso, firmeza, olhos de justiça imediata, que não pôde ser adiada. Talvez, daí venha a sua certeza de que o futuro há de beneficiá-lo. Então, sorri, brinca até quando o assunto é muito sério. Até a juíza já perdeu o juízo na sua frente, ao não conseguir domar o riso…
Fico pensando se o nome Charles possa ter alguma relação com charlatanismo, mas os olhos de Charles desmentem. Ele é dono de alegria espontânea, sem ironia.
Digo-lhe que há um pedido de pensão alimentícia da sua mãe, movido contra o seu pai.
Nessa hora, seu sorriso é envergonhado e triste. Não conhece o pai. Ele nunca o reconheceu como filho, “mas a mãe jura de pé junto que ele é meu pai. E eu confio nela. Nela, vou confiar sempre. Tudo que sou devo a ela e, se estou aqui, é porque perdi a cabeça para não perdê-la. Queriam tirá-la de mim, mandá-la para o “outro mundo”. Quiseram encurtar o espaço de vida que a minha mãe ocupava, e aí cheguei à conclusão de que eles é que estavam sobrando aqui no mundo. Não servem para nada mesmo! Covardia pura. Tive de defendê-la, afinal, sou homem, sou forte, e bater na minha mãe, em mulher, ainda mais, frágil como ela, não há justiça que vai me convencer de que agi errado… E o homem que ela diz que é meu pai, não é da mesma massa que nós, não. Ela era funcionária dele. Falam muito de assédio. Se isso quer dizer aproveitar-se de mulher pobre, ingênua, e serviçal, acho que ele fez isso. Então, ela está certa. Trabalha feito burro de carga desde menina, sem médico, saúde ruim, já passou da hora de ele ajudar ela…”
Naquele espaço, também havia crianças/adultos. Crianças, pela faixa etária, mas, ao mesmo tempo, adultos, pelos crimes hediondos que praticaram.
Alguns pareciam que tinham a maldade no sangue. Mataram por motivos fúteis, pelo simples prazer de matar.
Dois anos depois, acabei o meu curso.
Atualmente, trabalho no Fórum. Encaminho os intimados à sala do juiz.
De posse de uma intimação, adentro o corredor repleto de pessoas. Leio o nome em voz alta. Do meio do corredor, vem, em minha direção, um homem de estatura mediana, aparentando 50 anos. À medida que ele se aproxima, algo indefinido se move dentro de mim. O seu andar, o jeito de jogar os braços, e, quando chega à minha frente, seus olhos me paralisam. Entro em transe e, busco, no fundo da minha memória, algo que o identifica, ao mesmo tempo, que murmuro para mim: “eu conheço este homem. Não sei de onde, mas sinto que o conheço.”
Leio o seu nome que não me remete a ninguém, e ele confirma.
Porém, ao ouvir a sua voz, um nome me chega aos lábios: Charles!
Confiro a intimação: ele está ali para ser submetido a um exame de reconhecimento de paternidade, e, apesar de eu não ser especialista no assunto, posso afirmar que o exame que estou fazendo agora, ao observar o físico, os gestos, a voz e os mesmos olhos, não suscita nenhuma dúvida: ele é o pai de Charles.
Então, antes de ele entrar, relato a ele o meu encontro com seu filho. Abismado, o que, antes, para ele, era absurdo, inacreditável, inaceitável, vai amolecendo o seu rosto, e, surge aquele sorriso, banhado em lágrimas, de contentamento. O idêntico sorriso de Charles, e ele se entusiasma: “quero sim, conhecê-lo e reconhecê-lo”.
Mas a vida é esperta, e, como dizia Guimarães Rosa, “viver é perigoso”, e o nosso saudoso poetinha, Vinícius de Moraes, “A vida é a arte do encontro, embora haja tanto desencontro pela vida”, defronte a porta da sala do juiz, antes de eu abrir a maçaneta, chega esbaforido um colega, de posse de um documento, confirmando o nome e a ação, ao mesmo tempo que informa o cancelamento da sessão. Motivo: o menor, Charles, faleceu!
E, então, o pranto desce da face do pai de Charles, confirmando, que, agora, a vida virou-lhe a cara…
E eu, em meio a tantas incertezas durante o curso, confirmo que o meu encontro com Charles foi somente para, posteriormente, afirmar ao pai que ele era seu filho. Sem processo, sem exames, sem provas… A justiça lenta, demorada, não cumpriria o seu papel em tempo hábil. E as palavras de Charles se repetem em minha mente: “olhos de justiça imediata, que não pôde ser adiada”. Não fosse o nosso encontro, o pai, jamais, saberia, nem sentiria, ao mesmo tempo, o prazer e a dor de ter sido pai.
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