Mais uma cerveja _ pedi ao garçom. Hoje estou arrasada. Dói-me o coração, pesa-me a saudade, abrem-se as feridas causadas pela surra que a vida me dá. Quisera esquecer aquele dia. Aquele dia em que ele me deixou feito saco de lixo em porta de casa: empacotada e encharcada da chuva de lágrimas derramadas durante toda a noite. Partiu assim: sem mais nem menos. Invadiu a minha vida como o sol que desvirgina a madrugada, expulsa de uma só vez a escuridão e, ao mesmo tempo, a solidão, pois traz a alegria, e por si só já é companhia…Saiu assim, como entrou: sorrateiro. Antes, fez do meu corpo a sua morada e ergueu-me castelo do barraco que eu, outrora, era… Agora, após esse forte furacão, essa tempestade de areia que insiste em embaçar os meus olhos, eu me vejo desfazendo palácio. Sou rota, restinga, resto. Preciso me recompor, quebrar os “icebergs” que me impedem a invasão de mares, de ares… Necessito banhar-me dessa imensidão de água salgada para destilar a água e o sangue que me compõem. Este sangue que jorra raiva e ódio por me sentir amputada, tetraplégica em vontades e atitudes…
Mais uma cerveja, imploro novamente ao garçom, enquanto anseio sair desse marasmo, dessa não-vontade de mudar, mas ao mesmo tempo me libertar, soltar as amarras da tristeza de me sentir presa a mim mesma, aos meus pensamentos e a essa saudade que me dilacera aos poucos, feito urubu fazendo festa na carcaça do meu corpo…
Olho o relógio. A noite adentra a madrugada e eu estou só. Só, socada, seca de amor.
Levanto e me dirijo ao banheiro. Necessito me refazer. De frente para o vaso, a foto. A moça me ensina a usar o assento descartável. A bela moça: cabelos pretos e longos feitos os meus, olhos castanhos e pele morena clara como eu, olhar indígena igual ao meu, sorriso sincero e verdadeiro. Não é possível! Essa moça sou eu!
Aproximo-me do painel com a foto. Embora pequena, identifico-me. Sou eu mesma. Como foi possível? Alguém andou brincando comigo. Eu não fiz esta foto, mas a moça sou eu. Assento-me no vaso diante da foto e tento recuperar a lucidez um pouco prejudicada pelo álcool, porém, convenço-me de que não estou ébria. Estou sóbria. Preciso denunciar a fraude. Fui enganada. Não bastasse a felicidade que me bateu à porta e, depois que a deixei entrar, bateu a porta e se foi, agora a vergonha de ser reconhecida por todos em situação desastrosa, expondo o meu rosto em banheiros, onde o mais íntimo do ser humano desce esgoto abaixo… Rebaixada, foi como me senti. Abro a porta abruptamente e já saio dando escândalo:
_ Quero o gerente. Que me explique por que estou aqui. Preciso saber quem me trouxe…
_ Calma, calma… alguém me diz.
Calma que nada! Estou exposta, sangrando decepção, dilacerada e mutilada. Lá dentro, sorrindo uma felicidade inexistente… Quero o responsável pelo meu roubo. Roubaram minha identidade, minha felicidade. Sinto-me nua de mim mesma. É preciso que me expliquem como isso aconteceu…
Exijo uma resposta, quero um contato com o representante dos assentos descartáveis. Quero saber como vim parar aqui e em todos os lugares… De descartada, bastam-me as vezes em que fui desprezada… Quero ser original, única e altamente aproveitável pelo mundo.
Tentam me convencer de que não sou eu a moça do retrato no banheiro. Não aceito que me enganem. Conheço-me melhor do que eles. Sei que se trata de mim. Perco a paciência. Enfrento o banheiro, munida de papel e caneta, e anoto o telefone do fabricante. Exijo do bar o telefone, e após vários telefonemas e minhas exigências, aguardo pelo fax a identidade da moça do retrato.
Enquanto todos são esperas, eu sou certeza.
O telefone do fax toca. O barulho se inicia.
Defronte ao aparelho, porto-me fixa ao papel que se levanta à medida que a impressão se realiza.
Primeiramente, surge a foto e logo os dados: nome, data de nascimento, idade, naturalidade, filiação…
Fecho os olhos enquanto os outros olhos me fitam, e a cor vermelha inunda a minha face. A vergonha é amiga íntima.
Confirmo que não sou eu. Porém, posso dizer que agora tenho uma sósia, muito embora, ao retornar no outro dia, refeita, renascida, reconstituída, de barraco a casa decente, sem luxo, mas transparente, sóbria, com os olhos desembaçados e sobrevivida às últimas tempestades, certifico-me de que ainda não tenho sósia. Tudo não passou de uma tentativa de sobreviver, de não me permitir descer ao esgoto…
Very nice article, just what I needed.|
Such a valuable read.
I particularly appreciated the approach this was written.
Hi, Neat post. There is a problem with your website in internet explorer, would check this… IE still is the market leader and a good portion of people will miss your excellent writing because of this problem.
An fascinating discussion is price comment. I believe that you should write extra on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject however generally individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
I truly valued the way this was laid out.
This is the kind of writing I find helpful.
More articles like this would make the web more useful.
I absolutely appreciated the style this was presented.
The clarity in this article is commendable.
Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zynga group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Many thanks|
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Opera. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though! Hope you get the issue solved soon. Thanks|
We stumbled over here from a different web page and thought I might as well check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to exploring your web page for a second time.|
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.|
naturally like your website however you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will definitely come again again.|
Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!|
This article is brilliant.
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday. It’s always exciting to read through content from other authors and practice a little something from their websites. |
I truly liked the style this was explained.
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post! It’s the little changes that make the most significant changes. Many thanks for sharing!|
Hi i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anyplace, when i read this paragraph i thought i could also create comment due to this brilliant paragraph.|
I have read so many articles regarding the blogger lovers but this paragraph is really a good article, keep it up.|
Its such as you learn my thoughts! You appear to understand a lot approximately this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you could do with a few to drive the message house a bit, however other than that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.|
Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!|
Heya i’m for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I am hoping to give one thing back and help others such as you aided me.|
This info is priceless. Where can I find out more?|
Thanks for some other informative site. Where else may I am getting that kind of information written in such a perfect means? I have a undertaking that I am just now operating on, and I have been at the glance out for such information.|
Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.|
Wow, this piece of writing is pleasant, my sister is analyzing such things, therefore I am going to let know her.|
Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say wonderful blog!|
I needed to thank you for this fantastic read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it. I have got you saved as a favorite to look at new things you post…|
You’ve made some decent points there. I looked on the net for more information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this site.|
Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a good article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.|
Hey there are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!|
Touche. Solid arguments. Keep up the good spirit.|
Every weekend i used to pay a visit this web site, as i want enjoyment, since this this web site conations genuinely pleasant funny stuff too.|
I believe that is among the so much vital info for me. And i’m satisfied reading your article. But should commentary on few general things, The site style is ideal, the articles is in point of fact excellent : D. Excellent activity, cheers|
I was able to find good info from your articles.|
I am actually thankful to the owner of this web site who has shared this fantastic paragraph at at this place.|
If some one wishes to be updated with hottest technologies afterward he must be pay a visit this site and be up to date daily.|
bookmarked!!, I love your web site!|
Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve visited this web site before but after looking at many of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m certainly pleased I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!|
Thanks for another informative web site. Where else may just I get that kind of info written in such an ideal method? I’ve a challenge that I am simply now running on, and I’ve been at the glance out for such info.|
Hi this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!|
Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a weblog web site? The account helped me a appropriate deal. I have been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant clear concept|
I read this paragraph completely on the topic of the resemblance of hottest and preceding technologies, it’s awesome article.|
Aw, this was a very good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to create a top notch article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and never seem to get anything done.|
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people for this topic, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks|
Fantastic goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely great. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a terrific site.|
Greetings I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a incredible post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the superb work.|