Parabéns!

Era uma manhã de sexta-feira em que as águas desciam torrencialmente sobre a cidade, fechando o verão.

Época em que os celulares ainda não tinham invadido o País, e em que as pessoas desfilavam nas ruas com brincos, pulseiras e relógios de ouro.

O sujeito entrou no ônibus, acompanhado de um rapazola, carregando uma mochila fina e comprida, donde se podia perceber um volume grosso e comprido em seu interior. Afora um olhar curioso que estendia volta e meia a todos os passageiros, não me pareceu que o indivíduo oferecesse algum perigo.

A viagem continuou até que minguaram os passageiros, estando, agora, todos assentados. E foi nesse intervalo de tempo, e próximo ao ponto que eu haveria de descer, que o indivíduo, repentinamente, ergueu-se da cadeira, postou-se de frente para todos, abriu a mochila, retirou uma grande e grossa vela e dois revólveres, e começou um bailado grotesco, mirando para o motorista e ao mesmo tempo para todos os passageiros, ordenando que um por um colocasse dentro da sua mochila: relógios, carteiras, pulseiras e toda espécie de valor que visualizava nos presentes – “oferecida” a cada passageiro pelo seu comparsa, como se fosse sacolinha de igreja na hora do ofertório. Os mais resistentes eram surpreendidos pelo sujeito da sacola que, rapidamente, arrancava-lhes do pescoço, orelhas e braços tudo que lhe fosse negado.
Eu, como não portava nada no corpo, por ser macaco velho, fui obrigado a tirar a minha camisa, porque o sujeito que estava na frente achou que ela serviria para dar, ao seu corpo, ares de festa, vestindo-a imediatamente, sob a proteção do comparsa que se apoderou das armas.
Isso tudo se passou em poucos minutos, com o ônibus andando, já que a primeira ordem dada ao motorista era de que seguisse viagem, em velocidade média, e não parasse para ninguém.
E não é que depois de a mochila já estar recheada, o sujeito da frente pisca para o “ajudante” que, numa fração de segundos, retira um isqueiro, ergue a grossa vela e a acende, enquanto o outro berra para todos:

– O negócio é o seguinte, cambada: Hoje é o meu aniversário e prometi a mim mesmo que muita gente boa vai cantá um “parabéns pra você” pra mim. Nunca tive isso na vida, de maneira que quero todo mundo bateno palma e cantano alto, senão, vou desejá “muitos anos de morte” pra neguinho desobediente.”
E, grotescamente, me vi obrigado a cantar parabéns para um sujeito que eu desejava que estivesse no “outro mundo”.
Antes de chegarmos ao “muitos anos de vida”, o motorista deu uma forte brecada, derrubando o sujeito sobre a arma que disparou e o “apagou” juntamente com a chama da grande vela.
Confesso que não me incomodei ao ver a minha camisa novinha com um buraco no meio.
Foi aquele alvoroço: o rapazola desceu apavorado, pois a multidão partiu em seu encalço.
Que Deus tenha compaixão de mim, porque, ao ver o sujeito pronto para o velório, com vela e tudo, arrematei:
– Vai comemorar a morte no inferno, seu infeliz!

Sem camisa, indo em direção ao trabalho, eu não queria acreditar que aquele dia fosse 1º de abril!

                                                           

7.303 thoughts on “Parabéns!

  1. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favourite reason seemed to be on the web the
    easiest thing to remember of. I say to you, I certainly
    get irked while folks think about worries that they just do not recognise
    about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest and defined out the entire thing with no need side
    effect , other people can take a signal. Will likely be back
    to get more. Thanks

  2. Hi there, I believe your website could possibly be having web browser compatibility problems. When I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Other than that, fantastic website!|

  3. This crucial part of article writing is often overlooked. Your investment in an advertising course only becomes more visible whenever you begin to put
    on what you learn. Can you guess what probably managed?

  4. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My site addresses a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!|

  5. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading
    it, you might be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back in the foreseeable future.
    I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great job,
    have a nice evening!

  6. People with high intuition are not liked very much, they are secretly admired, but most of the time they are not loved because they do not come to their job, they are also distant to those around them because they know the facts, life for these people is extra difficult and tiring.People with high intuition are not liked very much, they are secretly admired, but most of the time they are not loved because they do not come to their job, they are also distant to those around them because they know the facts, life for these people is extra difficult and tiring.

  7. Hello There. I found your blog the usage of msn. This is a really neatly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to learn more of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I will certainly comeback.|

  8. Unquestionably believe that which you stated.
    Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest
    thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider
    worries that they plainly do not know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well
    as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  9. I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own blog now ;)|

  10. People with high intuition are not liked very much, they are secretly admired, but most of the time they are not loved because they do not come to their job, they are also distant to those around them because they know the facts, life for these people is extra difficult and tiring.

  11. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble
    locating it but, I’d like to send you an email.

    I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it
    improve over time.

  12. excellent submit, very informative. I wonder why the
    other experts of this sector don’t understand this.

    You should continue your writing. I am sure, you have a
    huge readers’ base already!

  13. Thank you, I have just been looking for info about this topic for a while and yours is the best I’ve found out till now.
    However, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  14. Займы без проверки КИ. Контакты.
    Займ 30000 рублей на карту. Топ 8: где взять займ 30000 рублей на карту срочно без отказа.
    Взять срочный онлайн займ на сумму в 30000 рублей можно через интернет не выходя из дома

  15. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing issues with your website. It appears like some of the written text in your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This could be a issue with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before. Kudos|

  16. Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite
    reason appeared to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware
    of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries
    that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the
    whole thing without having side-effects , people could take
    a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  17. With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of plagorism
    or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself
    or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up
    all over the internet without my agreement. Do you know any solutions to help prevent content from being stolen?
    I’d truly appreciate it.

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado.

Website