Carregava o fardo da solidão acompanhada. Esta viuvez de marido vivo, este desquite de cama de casal ainda ocupada e, por isso, não quite com o coração. Existe ainda a sombra do biombo que reinava no meio da cama. Biombo imaginário, mas instalado com os gestos reais da separação de corpos que não mais se encontravam. Almas desconhecidas, mas unidas pelos frutos do matrimônio que ainda não ganharam o futuro.
Constantemente, questionava o coração e a mente se havia coerência entre os dois, uma vez que o coração pedia para partir, enquanto a mente racionalizava o ficar.
A dupla jornada de anos a fio, como se sustentasse o peso do mundo pelo excesso de responsabilidades com o estômago, a cabeça e a vida.
Ah! Esse amor às avessas de uma felicidade emoldurada nos filhos, em um casamento duradouro! Mera casca de ovo… Tão frágeis as relações que, a mais leve bicada, expõem-se as vísceras, explodindo a ira, desfazendo o ninho..
Este silêncio de vida, esta eterna busca de si, dos seus eus espalhados no tempo, fragmentados em tantas posturas, meras molduras expostas em horas, às vezes, tão secas, tão mortas…
Penélope-aranha tece a teia que a enleia com mãos e mente, noturnamente, que lhe traz esperança de mudança, mas que se desfaz na aurora, no embate da realidade…
Dez, vinte, trinta quarenta anos de procura, de busca…
E eis que chega o futuro promissor: a casa requintada, o carro importado, o marido próximo, mas sempre afastado…
O culto ao corpo e a preservação da jovialidade não foram suficientes para manter o interesse do parceiro. Tristeza de ser só, sabendo-se, no final, pó…
Mas a vida insiste e é necessário que, a ela, se curve. Reinventar alegrias, sonhar mentiras, para se acreditar feliz.
Se amor não há, Roma existe e Paris insiste em fisgá-la anualmente, com bálsamos perfumados, em cruzeiros marítimos, ou em voltas do cruzeiro do sul.
Em plena era de aquecimento global que gera a terrível espera da seca total, ela se faz manancial ao completar setenta anos. Abre portas, pois, o coração comporta… recebe amigos, filhos, e transborda, solta a corda, desfaz amarras e reinventa a felicidade.
Canta, dança e sorri sozinha na pista, na vista dos olhares que despistam…
E, ele, já calvo, mantém o alvo no novo, esquecendo-se de que se restou raiz.
Antes do raiar da aurora, apagam-se as luzes, os brilhos e os brios.
Ao nascer do sol, é necessário limpar a casa, retirar o tão pisado _ por pés jovens e velhos _ e pesado tapete, e recolhê-lo, definitivamente da vida.
O que assusta na velhice é o isolamento. A falta de acasalamento. É o ensaio para a solidão derradeira!
Fátima Soares Rodrigues
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