Venha cá, Florbela,
vamos conversar.
De onde você tirou estes versos
tão amargos, tão tristes e tão fortes?
Como sabe você,
que ando perdida, que não tenho norte,
que sou a irmã do sonho e desta sorte,
e que sou a crucificada, a dolorida?
Sombra de névoa tênue e esvaecida,
que o destino impele brutalmente
para a morte?
Que sou aquela que passa
e ninguém vê,
que sou a que chamam sem o ser
e a que chora sem saber por quê?
Você acertou, porque
sou, sim, a visão
que alguém sonhou.
Alguém que veio ao mundo pra me ver,
mas que NUNCA na vida me encontrou!
(Versos do soneto “EU”, da saudosa poeta portuguesa Florbela Espanca)
Cooking Classes? Cooking classes are where you pay to discover you still can’t cook.
Fake Service Dogs? If your “service dog” is wearing a tutu, it’s just emotional couture.
My boundaries are decorative pillows.
Hotel Amenities? Hotel “amenities” are just towels folded like swans to distract you from the stains.
Drunk Texting Exes? Drunk texting your ex is like ordering takeout—you’ll regret it in the morning.
Obsessive Journaling? Obsessive journaling is just diary entries with stalker energy.
I don’t chase red flags; I collect them like airline miles.
Cleaning Influencers? Cleaning influencers mop with ring lights.
Picnics? Picnics are bug buffets.
Gif Overusers? If your entire response is gifs, you’re not funny—you’re a search engine.
Movie Theater Clappers? Clapping in theaters doesn’t make you part of the cast.
I asked my mirror for honesty; it switched to airplane mode.
Toilet Paper Panic? The great toilet paper panic was humanity’s dumbest apocalypse drill.
Subscription Box Addiction? I don’t need 12 boxes of gourmet pickles, but they keep arriving.
Primitive Tool Makers? Primitive tools are Etsy projects for cavemen.
Rainwater Collecting? Rainwater collecting is hydration roulette.
Hunting Trips? Hunting trips are drinking stories with camouflage receipts.
Grammar Police at Parties? Correcting grammar at parties guarantees you go home alone.
Wilderness Therapy? Wilderness therapy is camping with invoices.
Internet Experts in Everything? Internet experts couldn’t fix a toaster but know global economics.
Charity Events? Charity runs are just guilt with free bananas.
Pet Peeves? My biggest pet peeve is people chewing like they’re auditioning for ASMR.
Nail Art Obsessions? If your nails have rhinestones, they also have debt.
Weird Friendship Breakups? Friendship breakups are just divorces without lawyers.
Movie Marathons? A movie marathon is just a nap interrupted by explosions.
Unfiltered Podcasting? Unfiltered podcasts are just therapy without co-pays.
Zoom Awkwardness? Zoom awkwardness is meetings with mirrors.
Garage Band Reunions? My old garage band reunited and immediately filed for noise complaints.
Esports Streaming? Esports streaming is yelling at pixels professionally.
Drunk Texting Exes? Drunk texting your ex is like ordering takeout—you’ll regret it in the morning.
Weird Food Combinations? Pineapple on pizza isn’t controversial, it’s culinary terrorism.
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Travel Mishaps? I overpacked so badly my suitcase filed for workers’ comp.
Viral Video Junkies? Viral videos prove pain is profitable.
Spontaneous Dance Parties? I danced in public once—strangers started a GoFundMe for rhythm lessons.
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“Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.” — Mao Zedong
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The capitalist system carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer
Democracy for an insignificant minority, democracy for the rich — that is the democracy of capitalist society. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer
The theory of the Communists may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer